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Literature Text
Whenever the soil is met by waves of the brightest penetrating blue
The wind stirs and takes the sand of vast deserts far away
Whilst the sun nourishes the ever-growing source hitherto
That is her, the Blessed which poets will portray
Thorns and branches be swept aside
For loss of life is not what is to be feared
Only love is what needs to be mustered
None ever is familiar with what is implied
But nonetheless she will be revered
When first met she will leave you flustered
The wind stirs and takes the sand of vast deserts far away
Whilst the sun nourishes the ever-growing source hitherto
That is her, the Blessed which poets will portray
Thorns and branches be swept aside
For loss of life is not what is to be feared
Only love is what needs to be mustered
None ever is familiar with what is implied
But nonetheless she will be revered
When first met she will leave you flustered
Literature
you'll never go away
I feel betrayed.
I feel put down.
And I feel burnt out.
I harbor many doubts.
About you, and about myself
Only here would I dare let them out.
I hate you !
Or at least... I want to.
After you abandoned me for a seeded life,
When I was still only a sprout.
...But that is not why I am angry.
I loved you.
Every screaming inch
Every bellowing note you sprang
I stood by in your favor
And then
I didnt
I hate you!
Or at least I should
When you beckoned me t
Literature
For You.
Oh,
The heavy weight of loss.
Literature
Leave
1. crows gathered for the last goodbyes
Leave you at your last residence
Forgotten grave, erased
From their memory after today
Don’t touch me
Just don’t, not a single word
Let me, be... covered in my sadness
Under my sunglasses, sun is gone
CHORUS
I don’t need your sympathy
Just leave, I just wanna stay
Look at your grave in my own peace
Allow my tears finally flow
Scream and cursed be
Whoever took you
Watchin’ my pieces laying on the floor
I feel I failed you
Even now, I don’t know what to say
Just sit there, I can’t believe your gone
Still I know your next to me, starin’ at me
2. don
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Overall
Vision Originality
Technique ImpactThe strength of the poem is in the persistent use of structure, and an unwavering voice therein. You accomplish quite a lot within the constraints of the chosen rhyme scheme and never devolve the writing for the sake of the rhyme, which is the worst possible thing you could have done. It's a pretty good ode, and pretty great rhyme, and a decent dedication. It certainly is a high language poem, throwing around archaic terms like "hitherto" and concepts like "thorns and branches". It makes the poem have a feeling like it would have been presented by a troubadour, which itself is not a bad thing. Consider yourself having accomplished something with this.